Crushed

An entire month with total self control and mastering my anxiety, I must admit I was a little disappointed to experience an anxiety attack again. It was something I did not miss and had come to enjoy living without. Now I’m not saying that my life is going to be taken over by my anxiety again, it was just a reminder that I had only won a battle and not the war. I have finally found a description for how I feel when I am experiencing anxiety; a fallen comic book hero.

Comic book heroes are supposed to be the person who saves the city and takes care of the bad guys; the person that everyone turns to when they need help. That hero is always willing to help and put up a fight, but there are times when their opponent has a longer reach than they do and they are knocked down, crushed back into the earth. Hands and knees on the ground, head bowed and hurting. It is here, in this moment that I empathize with these people, for I too am fallen to my opponent. When I have an anxiety attack it’s like I have been knocked down, I feel shame for being defeated but I am also given the chance to collect my thoughts and devise a strategy to handle it better the next round. The war isn’t over, and every day is a new battle that I have a better and better chance of winning.

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