Anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety knows that one of the hardest things to do is to make changes that help control the triggers. The triggers could be anything from a test, a stressful day, being late on rent or just waking up on the wrong side of the bed some days. The progress that we feel ourselves is not something that others can even see or notice, but we do and it feels great.
I’m not saying I’ve pulled a complete 180 towards being happy, but I could say that I have at least made it halfway. Sometimes the biggest progress is simply making an attempt to make changes in your life that can help you feel better. Knowing that a part of you is trying its best to kick that anxieties butt is a sort of relief in itself, for it gives you knowledge that you aren’t giving up and have a fighting chance.
The title of this post is “Slipping” because I have recently hit a little snag in my own personal progress. I had recently gone through a break up with someone who I loved dearly, but we were never happy as a couple. After that I started to rebuild myself, I made stronger friendships and started a healthy gym and diet routine. My grades which had been slipping started to rise and I fought through any pain and anxiety as hard as I possibly could. Finally I had found a little piece of happiness and it was one of the greatest things I have personally accomplished. And then came the end of the semester, and most of my close friends graduated and left college; I had become virtually alone but for text messages. That shock of being alone and being left with just me, myself and my thoughts on top of the stress of living alone for the first time ever set me back into a slump, feeling as though I was drowning. I couldn’t make it to the gym and had an anxiety attack almost every morning for I was afraid to get out of bed and do nothing with myself.
From there is the hardest part, realizing that you have had a set back and convincing yourself to get back on your feet and fight yourself to be happy again. I’m still fighting to get back to that spot where I had a smile on my face everyday and feeling like I’m a normal person. But I’m seeing progress, I’ve lost 2 of the 5 lbs I’ve gained since the end of the semester and I’ve been learning how to enjoy being by myself. For those of you reading this who have also had this problem of set backs I’d like to share what I do to help, maybe it could work for you or encourage you to find your vice.
One of the hardest steps I took was changing my diet, I have cut out most processed foods and try to eat fresh and nutritious food. Getting out of bed and having a cup of tea or coffee is a great motivation to get the day started and make breakfast while the water is boiling; its amazing how eating breakfast can really change your day around. Adding the gym back into my life is the biggest and most important step I personally made, for when I begin to feel that dreaded sense of panic my anxiety gives me I go for a run or I lift weights. Even this, this blog is a step in the right direction for me, it allows me to express my feelings in a creative way as an outlet for all of the bad thoughts that drag me down. Little things can make the biggest difference, and while no one else sees the difference I can feel it and that’s what really matters.
Sometimes when you feel yourself slipping the most important part is to hold on. Take a deep breath and remember it’s just a step backwards but you can, and you should take two steps forward. Yes, it is going to feel like you’re walking through molasses in January but it will be worth it in the end and you’ll love and appreciate yourself more for getting yourself through it.